


Time After Time

by lecksie31



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Enemies to Lovers, Heartbreak, M/M, Mutual Pining, Paris - Freeform, Real Life, Slice of Life, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-12
Updated: 2020-03-12
Packaged: 2021-02-22 21:30:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23067367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lecksie31/pseuds/lecksie31
Summary: There is no escaping love; when it finds you, you can't hide nor run away from it no matter how much you try.
Relationships: Kim Junmyeon | Suho/Oh Sehun, Oh Sehun/Park Chanyeol
Comments: 10
Kudos: 47
Collections: Âme sœur: SeHo Fic Fest Round 1





	Time After Time

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt #47
> 
> For the prompter, I think it was a bit off from what you wanted but I hope you liked it all the same.
> 
> For you, dear reader, I am always thankful to you. I hope you enjoy it.
> 
> I am always nervous when I join fic fests but I wish that it somehow turned out well.

Have you ever tried confessing to the person you love? Hard, isn’t it? The feeling of nervousness comes over your entire body. Your palms get all sweaty and your heart beats so fast it feels like it’s going to pop out of your chest any time and you feel nauseous enough that the food you ate is rising up your throat. You’re scared because as much as you say you just want the person to know how you feel about them, a small part of you hopes that they feel the same way.

_“Sehun, I like you.”_

\------------------

They call me a jack of all trades, but master of none. 

And out of all the things they call me, I like this the most.

I know it all. I know how they talk about me behind my back. Everyone hates me and to be honest I do not blame them one bit; people are like that; they hate people different from them.

No one wants to be friends with an orphan. They all think I wasn't raised right.

Pity or fear. It’s always been the two, never anything else.

They were all just afraid of my grandfather and that is the sole reason that they choose to leave me alone, and that makes me lucky.

There’s only ever one person who has ever looked at me straight in the eye, only him who wanted to befriend me, but he is someone I can’t be seen with or else, I might just get disowned.

\------------------

**June 10, 2012**

It was a Saturday and I have nothing better to do. 

I am tired of reading through all the books in the library at this house and I do not feel like straining my eyes with the TV or the computer.

Maybe I need a change of scenery.

Thus, instead of going back to sleep, I dressed up and headed outside for fresh air. 

I had literally no friends to hang out with. Well, I’m comfortable on being alone.

While everyone is probably out on a date or with just chilling out with their friends today, I am walking to the riverbank on my own. It is not the best, but it is still better than staying stuck inside that house.

However, when I got there, someone else is sitting on my favorite spot.

I went straight to it to see who it was and when I did, I wasn’t really shocked at all. This is the only person who ever gave me a hope that maybe I can have friends. And now here he is, sleeping in front of me.

Why is it that he looks so goddamn attractive? This man might as well be the death of me, and my grandfather is gonna explode if he sees me associating with him.

_Why is it like that? Why must I be someone who can’t make decisions on my own? Why can’t I be friends with this person whose eyes shine so bright and has shown me nothing but kindness?_

I wish he knows how comfortable he always makes me feel and how easy it was for me to tell everything inside of me to him. I thought he would look at me with pity after, but instead of that, I saw patience and understanding in them. 

I panicked a bit when his eyes shot wide awake and he almost pushed me, until he realized it was me. He smiles at me, (or was that a smirk) and I can’t help but smile back.

“Hey”  
“Hey yourself"  
“Sad again?”  
“What?”  
“You’re by the river, it means you are sad.”  
“How do you even know that?!”  
“You always go to this river when you are sad. Am I wrong?”  
“I---” 

That shut me up really good, partially because he is right, mostly because I am astounded at how he even noticed, and I really can’t help but wonder about it. This man right here really is the most thoughtful person I have ever met. How can I help myself and not fall for him?

_Let's keep this between you and me: I have long fallen in love with him._

____________

 _I don’t really remember how exactly it ended between us._ How we went from sweet secret smiles to barely even setting eyes on each other. How we went from flirting to utter silence. How we went from always being there for each other to completely ignoring each other's existence. _But how we began? Now, that’s a completely different story._

I would never forget how it all started; I was ten years old then.

_I was going on with my everyday routine of pretending I'm listening to the teacher. You might judge me and tell me that this might be why no one likes me but to be honest, I got accelerated by two grades; these things are stuff I already know. No one really cares about me and I pretend that I don’t know about how they all talk about me. This way, everyone is truly happy._

_But one day, a transfer student was introduced to the class._

_"Good morning, class. Today we have a new transfer student. Please introduce yourself."_

_Silence suddenly filled the room and I had to look up to see who it was._ _And there he was, a majestic face with all its gloriousness. Like an angel sent from above, like God himself sculpted this very person._

_"Hi, the name's Junmyeon.", the boy in front said, with a pleasant smile accompanying the badass tone._

_He was so cool, I swear the whole class was swooning over him._

_You'd think I'd fallen in love with him at that very moment. I'm sorry to disappoint you but I didn't._

_If you might ask why, when he was the epitome of everything perfect, then I'll tell you just one thing: it's his smile._

_I knew that smile, the one that didn't reach the eyes, a facade. I knew that best since I use it all the time. And just for that, I knew, there was something more behind all of what he is showing._

_I said I didn't fall in love, but I would be lying if I said I didn't get interested at the very least._

\------------------

**December, 2012**

“Sehun, I have something to tell you.”

I looked up at him, a bewildered expression on my face.

“Can I ask you a favor?”

I am in confusion and I did not understand a word he was saying. Maybe I wasn’t as smart as everyone thinks I was, after all.

“Would you date me?”

I was even more confused at this point and I must have had a very shocked expression because suddenly, Junmyeon starts laughing at me.

“You should have seen the look in your face, it was priceless.”

“Junmyeon….”

“It’s Junmyeon-hyung to you, silly Sehunnie.”

“What do you really want to say?”

“I need you to pretend we’re dating.”

“WHAT?! Why would I do that?”

_If only he likes me back, I would have told him how I truly feel for him years ago._

“Bro, you need to help me out, please.”

“Okay, I’ll listen, tell me slowly.”

“The thing is that my parents want me to marry someone that they had arranged for me and well, I told them that I was gay. Of course, they did not believe me. So, I told them that I am going to let them meet my boyfriend. And all I can think of was you. Would you please help me this one time? I really do not want to get married to that girl. And believe it or not, I’m not straight.”

I thought it was my turn to laugh as the situation seemed very silly to me but when I looked at him, I knew he wasn’t joking. He was very much sincere, and he meant every word.

“Okay, I’ll help you out.”

“Really???? You would?”

“Yes, but what do I get in return?”

“What does Sehunnie want?”

“I don’t know yet. How about you grant me a wish when all of this is over?”

“Okay, cool. I’ll do that. So, it’s settled? You’ll date me and meet my parents?”

“Sure, just tell me about the plan and I’ll go.”

\------------------

The first part of the plan was nowhere near meeting the parents though. It did not go like that, but instead, we went on tons of dates and took a lot of pictures.

Our first date was at this cute ramen restaurant.

I absolutely love ramen with all of me and I was allowed to eat as much as I could. As I was doing just that, Junmyeon suddenly leaned towards me, our face so close to each other. I bet my face was all red until I realized he was taking a good shot of us, so I smiled at the camera, looking like the fool that I was.

We went to a couple more of restaurant dates, to a steakhouse, to this ice cream shop, to that store that was selling waffles. We went on a lot of food trips and believe it or not, I was having a lot of fun.

These are the things normal people of my age are doing; going to food places with their friends and for the first time in my life, I felt like I was normal.

\------------------

Part two of the plan was making up a good story of how we met and fell in love with each other. This one was not that hard as Junmyeon turned out to be a pretty good scriptwriter. Though I have to admit, it was a bit cheesy as well.

He said that our story went like this; we were classmates since we were young. That part was true, as he moved to my school when he was 12. He said that he fell in love with me at first sight and thought I was interesting. He then began trying to get closer to me as he noticed that I had no friends and that no one really paid attention to me.

It was when we were freshmen in college that he thought he might have a chance with me but he did not have the courage to confess. Now that we are in our senior year, he thought he might as well give it a shot and that is when he did it.

I was astounded at this and I told him that it sounds good and we can just fill up all the other stuff as we go. It was a wonderful story and somehow, I wished it was true. If only this wasn’t all made up, maybe we would have a good shot at this.

\------------------

Finally, we were on the last phase of the mission; it’s been months since we started all this and yet it still feels like yesterday.

“Junmyeon, I’m nervous.”

“Relax, Sehunnie, you’ll be fine. And call me Jun, didn’t we just talk about this?”

“Jun…”

“Yes?”

“I’ll feel bad about lying to your parents.”

“Please don’t, I promise it will be over before you know it. Also, I need to tell you something before we get there, okay?”

“Can’t you tell me now?”

“No, I’ll tell you before we head to my parent’s house this weekend. I’ll meet you by the river tomorrow, alright?”

\------------------

**January, 2018**

It’s been years since that day we promised to go meet his parents.

But the thing is…he never showed up.

He never came to the place we promised to meet up on.

Maybe he changed his mind, maybe he decided that he was just going to tell his parents the truth.

But whatever he chose to do, it would have been nice if I was given a heads up.

Instead, he just suddenly disappeared, like a bubble.

And by that, I meant it, literally.

He was gone from the university; I couldn’t find him anywhere nor contact him.

_He was my first love and he will always have a special place in my heart._

But right now, I have more things to do than to just dwell on love and other uncertainties.

My grandfather died a few months ago and today is the day I take over everything he owned as I was his sole heir.

Now, I am the CEO of the Oh group of companies and this is something that I have been trained for, over the years.

\------------------

**August, 2018**

Money. Love. Friendship.

They said no one can have all these things at the same time.

Well, then maybe I am truly lucky; maybe all the years I spent suffering has brought me to this point in time that I have all three.

I have money; I am the CEO of my company.

I found both friendship and love in one person.

His name is Chanyeol and I met him a few years ago when I was dealing with the heartbreak that losing Junmyeon caused me. He was there when I needed him the most, when I needed someone to talk to when I was longing for someone I knew was never coming back.

Basically, he comforted me when I was weak and lend me his shoulders for me to cry.

We have been dating for a while now and he always makes sure to let me know that I am loved and cared for.

So, why?

Why do I feel like I am missing a part of me like there is this gaping hole inside my chest?

What is wrong with me?

\------------------

Chanyeol and I were having lunch at this famous Korean BBQ restaurant when I saw a familiar face. My boyfriend must have sensed my shock because he held my hand and tap my shoulder.

“Sehun? Is something wrong?”  
“Nothing, I just thought I saw someone I know. Would you excuse me? I’ll just drop by the comfort room.”

I stood up and silently headed for the comfort room. When I got inside, I washed my hands and was about to wash my face when suddenly, I saw Junmyeon or what looked like him coming out from one of the stalls.

“J-J-Junmyeon? Is it really you?”

“Sehun.”, he replied to me, his voice sounding so broken.

“How are you? It’s been a long time.”

“Sorry, Sehun, I need to go.”

“But--- Can we talk some other time?”

“Maybe we shouldn’t. Your grandfather would be mad.”

“Oh, he passed away months ago. But what about him? You never even met him.”

“Maybe we need to talk then, let’s meet at the usual place, this weekend. 7PM.”, he said, before walking out of the door.

When I came back to our table, it was like nothing happened and I just dreamt the whole thing up. I told Chanyeol I was tired and that we should head back and being the supportive boyfriend, he is, he just went along with it and told me to rest up well.

But that night, I couldn’t sleep. I keep thinking about meeting Junmyeon again.

\------------------

7 PM, Saturday night, I was on the riverside, waiting for him, as I did all those years ago.

Will he even come this time around or will he stand me up as he did before?

All these thoughts were running through my head when I felt a tap on my shoulder.

“Sehun.”

One word. He said my name and suddenly, my heart started beating like crazy.

I thought I was over him.

I actually thought that gone were the days when I would just agree with everything he wanted because I love him.

But here I am, listening to everything that he is saying, explaining why he left me that day.

And I am more than ready to believe him, just like that.

I do not know what to do, I wish I didn’t love him.

I wish I didn’t care for him as much as I did.

I wish I never met this man.

It was my grandfather.

Everything was his plan. He did his best to get Junmyeon away from me.

He knew I loved him; he knew it even without me saying.

I should have been more careful back then.

“Do you think we can start over?”, the words poured out of my mouth, without me having any control on it, I did not mean to say that out loud but for some reason, I did.

And I was not expecting what he told me next.

“I should’ve tried harder, Sehun. I don’t deserve to be friends with you anymore.”

But as he said that, the thought of losing him once more came over me and suddenly, it gave me the courage to tell him what I’ve been keeping inside of me all along.

Have you ever tried confessing to the person you love? Hard, isn’t it? The feeling of nervousness comes over your entire body. Your palms get all sweaty and your heart beats so fast it feels like it’s going to pop out of your chest any time and you feel nauseous enough that the food you ate is rising up your throat. You’re scared because as much as you say you just want the person to know how you feel about them, a small part of you hopes that they feel the same way.

I am truly anxious of how he is going to react, it had been years, after all, since we last met. But I knew I needed to say this once and for all. So, I took a deep breath and was more than ready to tell him how I feel when he suddenly blurted out four words.

_“Sehun, I like you.”_

Four words that suddenly felt like the whole world to me.

I was absolutely speechless. I do not know what to say; I was overwhelmed by the fact that he likes me. He feels the same way as I do! He actually likes someone like me, even after all the time we have spent apart, even after all the things that my grandfather did to him and his family. I can’t believe this.

_“I was going to tell you then, years ago, about my feelings. I was going to ask you if we can make the fake act real. But you know what happened, and I’m sorry I couldn’t. I know you have someone else now but it just…it felt right to get it off my chest. I don’t want to bother you anymore, I’ll go now, Sehun. I hope you have a good life. I’m sorry.”_

And he turned his back on me before I can even speak and started to walk away.

Thankfully, my body is not in a bad shape and I can still run quite fast despite not being able to do much exercise over the years. I ran over to him and grabbed his hand and made him face me.

_“Junmyeon, I like you too. I still do, even after all these years. However, you are right, I have someone else now. And yet, you still own my heart. Will you wait for me? I need to break it off with him properly. Can we meet again tomorrow at the same time?”_

He didn’t reply, not even a single word but he hugged me, and I thought that was a good enough answer.

\-------------

I immediately met up with Chanyeol and explained everything to him. He didn’t get mad at me, he never once got mad at me in the years we were together. He simply smiled sadly at me, wrapped me up in a warm embrace and told me that he will always be there when I need him. He told me that he knew all this time that my heart was somewhere else and wished me luck in whatever journey I might be in for.

And the next day, I went back to the place Junmyeon and I was going to meet up.

I was excited this time around and I can’t wait to see Junmyeon, tell him how I feel for him and finally ask him to date me. I even bought a bouquet of flowers that he will surely like.

However, by 8PM and there was still no sign of Junmyeon at all.

Maybe I read things wrong last night after all.

\-------------

They say that when love finds you, you can’t run away nor hide from it no matter how much you try. And I agree with them, they are absolutely right.

For years, I had tried to escape and hide the fact that I was in love with Junmyeon and for a short time, I actually believed I’ve moved on.

And yet, one meeting with him was enough to let me know I was lying to myself.

However, no one tells you that when love finds you, you need to be prepared for the worst too.

Junmyeon didn’t show up for the second time around.

It was a week later when I saw him again, on the television.

I never knew he was quite a famous person, a write to be precise.

And the news informed me that he is getting married.

My whole world crumbled into pieces.

It was just a week ago when he told me he like me. Did I dream that one up? Did that never happen?

So, was the hug a goodbye hug, after all?

I wish he at least told me instead of disappearing on me again.

\-------------

The only difference between then and now is that I know where he is, and I have the means to find his contact details. So, in a matter of hours, I have his number and I am dialing it.

“Hello? Kim Junmyeon speaking.”

“Jun…”

“S-s-se-hun?”

“What’s the purpose of telling me you like me if you were going to just ghost me again?”

“I’m sorry, Sehun. I had to let it out of my chest. I’m sorry, I wish I can do something but this is the only thing that would save my dad’s company from going bankrupt and I wanted to help him.”

“I’m here, Junmyeon. I have all the means to help you.”

“No, that would be too much to ask.”

“But what about us? Your feelings? What about mine? Are we going to live the rest of our lives apart from each other because of the things that the people around us need? Can’t you be selfish for once in your life?”

“I’m sorry, Sehun. I really am. I hope you find it in you to forgive me one day.”

“Jun--”

The phone call ended just like that.

And it felt like my heart broke more than it already is; as if it has not been broken into millions of pieces already when Junmyeon went missing on me years ago. But this time hurts much worse than then. This time, I knew he liked me back; I knew that the love I feel was not one-sided anymore and yet things won’t work out between us.

But he made his choice, and now I have to make mine.

I just wish I wouldn’t regret it.

\-------------

**January 2019**

There are a lot of mistakes you are going to make in your life. And some of them might be your biggest regrets but there’s no turning back time; you just have to move forward.

Often, I think about what could have happened if I chose the other option instead of the one that I did and it makes me rethink all the things I have done before that led me to where I am now and I must say, it really gives me a headache.

There are so many small mistakes that I have done and yet so many big ones too. But of all those things, one of my biggest regrets was getting married.

_Because in doing so, I let go of the one that I truly love._

I made the choice to marry to help my family, even though they didn’t ask of it from me. I knew it was the only way that the company would have survived. I never felt an ounce of love for the person I married, and she knew that. She knew that she will never have my heart as much as I don’t have hers. But it was for the benefit of our families; it was a give and take situation, like always. I always thought these kinds of things only happen in dramas until I was actually in it. I guess dramas are based on real life.

But that was all last year.

I got divorced last month. It was nothing special. My ex-wife and I parted ways peacefully, both of us glad to be free of the marriage we both just wasn’t right for.

I have regretted one thing in life but I am hoping that with this divorce, I can still move forward.

If I’m lucky, he’s still single but the question is going to be whether he still loves me or not.

And I’m more than willing to pay the price, no matter how high it may be.

\---------------

**March 2019**

Falling in love is easy but so is falling apart.

When Junmyeon got divorced, my hopes were up again.

I wonder why I let myself go through the same cycle over and over.

I guess this is just who I am.

I am the person who gets his heartbroken but will still be there for you each time around.

I am someone who finds it so hard to let go of things.

But when he did not come to me nor try to contact me after it, I decided it’s time that I stop my stupidity and just forget him.

To be honest, I still hold a grudge on him for our last conversation as he just ended the call like that and didn’t even listen to me at all.

Maybe the feelings that are lingering in mine is not love, but just annoyance.

But who am I fooling? No matter what Junmyeon does, he will always have a space in my heart.

They say that the final step of loving someone is forgiving them.

I say forgiveness is the first step in letting go.

And so, I started to write my letter, in hopes that one day it will reach him.

Because right now, I’ve decided I needed some time alone.

I will drop the letter before I leave for another country, far away from all the mess that I am in right now.

\-------------

**May 2019**

Sehun was waiting for me all along.

He has always waited for me from the beginning; ever since we met.

And me, being the fool that I am, kept him waiting again.

I should have tried to reach out to him as soon as I got divorced but fear took the better part of me. I was afraid that I was going to hurt him again and, in the process, that is exactly what I did.

Today, I got a mail from him.

_Dearest Junmyeon,_

_I do not know why I’m writing this letter to you either, all I know is that I need to let these feelings out of my chest. I am going to go to another country soon and I thought I would let you know what is going on in my mind just so I can have peace and maybe, I can finally move on._

_Ever since you came into my life, years ago, when I was ten. I have always been quite interested in you. You were the first friend I made. You showered me with affection even when you knew that no one else was doing it because they were all afraid of my grandfather. But you, you were different from the rest and that didn’t matter to you at all._

_Somewhere between all of our hangouts, between our secret meetings at the riverside, I fell in love with you. I do not know how it happened either, it just came over to me one time. You were sleeping right next to me and when I looked into your face drenched in the sunset, I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you._

_When you asked me to be your fake boyfriend, I was elated. I knew that it was not going to get me anywhere near being your real one but being able to experience that was such a joy. I was thrilled and I had so much fun together with you. All the good memories we made, all the food we ate, I remembered every single thing._

_When you didn’t show up then, I knew something must have gone wrong, but I didn’t really put much attention to it. I was drowning in all the thoughts that maybe I said something out of the line and you decided that you just didn’t want to be with me anymore or that you found someone else and that you did not need me any longer. I was just so out of it by then, I cried myself to sleep each night wondering what was wrong with me and why you left me. I kept asking myself why._

_So, when I saw you again years later and you told me that you liked me back. It was the happiest moment of my life. The person I have loved for years actually felt the same way about me, I thought if I would have died there and then, I would have died happy. But I knew I had to break up properly with my boyfriend then and so I told you to wait._

_Imagine my surprise when the next time we talked, it was me confirming your marriage to someone else. I was devastated. But I knew I had no right to stop you because after all, you have already made your decision. And yet, I still waited and hoped that maybe, eventually, you will realize that you loved me and come back to me._

_When I heard of your divorce last year, I thought that maybe this time around, you would try and make it work with me. I thought that maybe with a bit of time, you would try and reach out to me. But it has been months and still, you have not so I decided that maybe it’s about time I stop hoping that you and I would ever work out._

_Maybe we just have bad timing._

_Or maybe, we just aren’t meant for each other._

_I wish I can tell you that I don’t love you anymore but I can’t._

_The truth is that I love you even more than I did before._

_But I decided that enough is enough and that right now, I might need some time for myself. So, I am going somewhere far so that I will no longer be bound by the thoughts of you. Maybe where I am going, I will finally be able to let go of all these feelings I have inside of me, of this enormous love that I feel for you._

_And who knows? Maybe, eventually, I will finally find someone else that I can love as much as I love you. Either way, what I want to say is that for the longest time, I have always loved you, Kim Junmyeon and I don’t know how long I will but rest assured, you will always have a place in my heart._

_But for now, I say until we meet again._

_I hope life will treat you well._

_Take care,_

_Sehun._

When I finished reading the letter, tears were falling from my eyes. I had failed Sehun over and over again in this lifetime, but he still loved me, even until the end. He still wished me well and I wish I can repay him even half of that. I am a fool and a coward and I really hate myself right now.

I wish I can do something for him.

And so, the next day, I packed my bags up and began my search for him.

\------------

**March 2020**

Paris is a wonderful place.

It was everything I imagined it to be.

Now I understand why they call it the city of love.

Everything feels so romantic in here.

Out of all the places I had been in this past year, Paris is my favorite.

I am on my way to the Eiffel tower to take a photo of it like I had been doing in the past few days when my phone starts to ring.

_*Unknown number*_

Who would call me? I thought I told my staff not to reach me because I am going to be away for some time.

Nevertheless, thinking that it might be an important call, I answered it.

_“Hello?”_

_“Se…hun?”_

_“Yes? This is Sehun.”_

This voice… it sounded so familiar. I knew this voice, but it couldn’t possibly be him.

_“Turn around.”_

And when I did, I saw him. Junmyeon, in the flesh.

When I say I have moved on, I really thought I had.

But when I saw him, my heart just beat too fast for its own good and I knew, I was doomed.

_“Why are you here?”_

_“You said love is all about timing and that we always had bad timing. I have been searching all over the world for you and I think this might just be the right time for us. I still love you, Sehun. Even after all this time.”_

And just like that, he had me again, the words that I have longed to hear effortlessly came out of his mouth. He always knew just the right things to say to make things feel a whole lot better.

When love is true, it will always find its way to you.

And after all the years of pining for him, the years of waiting and getting my heart broken, Junmyeon and I eventually found our way back to each other.

_And the rest, the rest is history._


End file.
